TOEFL【Independent Writing】-food has become easier to prepare @ 熱血背包客莊ㄟ

題目來源：考古題黃金獨立寫作03

Nowadays, food has become easier to prepare. Has this change improved the way people live? Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer.

底下我會用change大做文章，既然老闆給了個change這麼好用的東西就要給他榨乾

※如有興趣參考我的寫作戰略歡迎點擊：

TOEFL【Independent Writing】搞定托福獨立寫作的戰略分析

實作練習：

Food, the most fundamental need, supports human lives. In early ages, people had to be hunters and peasants to fulfill their hunger, but with the development of technology, people have created highly efficient food preparation. This improvement brings positive effects and breaks up the traditional living mode in Taiwan, making women have time to work outside and men have simple ways to know cooking inside their houses.

The fact that lots of career women show their expertise in modern society is obvious. In the past, Taiwanese married women were expected to be housewives managing their family and preparing meals. Yet, improved food preparation reduces their family burdens and obligations, making them have extra time to focus on personal career and experience the joy of life. Unlike my grandma, who had to spend hours in the kitchen for daily meals made by unprepared row materials, my mom makes frozen salmon, dried spaghetti and fresh vegetables become delicacies, using pressure cookers and ovens to increase cooking efficiency. Furthermore, she has more leisure time to travel and handle her business— change of woman's life.

Modern food preparation makes men learn to cook easily. In the past, forced by the traditional culture, men were expected to work outside to earn money, further causing them to know nothing about cooking. Nowadays, men lacking culinary skills can handle a kitchen like a chef because of the improvement. Opening refrigerators, picking up some kind of prepared ingredients, following the directions on food's packages, and heating up ready-to-cook meals ─all are the easy things for my dad to stick to these strategies without difficulties in order to prepare food. Thus, such easy preparation as standard operating procedure speeds up and simplifies cooking ways, increasing the will of men tending to walk into the kitchen, and decreasing the hardship for cooking.

With the fast and easy food preparation, women who needs to prepare food can take a rest, men who wants to enjoy cooking can learn and practice culinary skills easily. Thus, I believe that the improvement brings people a better life, finally ameliorating their living standards.

Word：350

文章結構分析：

這題的思考是立場選定，贊不贊成簡單的食物準備方法，改善了人類生活，那我選擇贊成，立場選定後，再來就是找兩個理由，這裡題目只要求yes or no, 所以在首段的安排就先交代一下背景，再來下一句話寫站成的立場，在下面一句話講出贊成的理由就好了，然後題目有個關鍵字可以去加以著墨，那就是change，這個字可以延伸很多，因為改變是有對比的暗示，也可以表示時間前後的不同，所以在第二段和第三段發展上面可以用時代前後的背景不同去解題，這樣可以比較簡單的發展，又可以湊字數

第一段：

Food, the most fundamental need, supports human live. (幫題目找個背景，為何要探討食物的準備工作，所以我就下個背景就是大家都要靠食物過活)
In early ages, people had to be hunters and peasants to fulfill their hunger, but with the development of technology, people have created highly efficient food preparation. (這樣的一句話可以交代前後時代的變遷，這裡把change延伸成以前覓食是很麻煩的，然後現在科技發展使得食物準備這檔事變輕鬆了，有時候看到change, improve, 或是 decline 等字樣可以用時代前後對比去下手，既簡單又可以多掰幾行字)
This improvement brings positive effects and breaks up the traditional living mode in Taiwan, making women have time to work outside and men have simple ways to know cooking inside their house.(承接上面，是的我贊成改變改善了人類生活~~點出我的立場是贊成的~~，接下來那就換理由要出現了，理由一：家庭主婦可以出門工作了，理由二：不會做飯的丈夫可以輕易學習煮飯了，這麼一來三句話搞定第一段)

第四段：

主要就是第一段的結構顛倒倒著寫，在句子上加以改寫，這感覺很像是托福閱讀裡面的句子改寫題一樣，然後不加背景句，盡量不要在節外生枝，例如說，結論寫成：就是因為food preparation 使得人類更多時間，以至於我們可以照顧小孩和讓每一餐都像是在餐廳裡面吃飯一樣，有非常多的選擇，這裡會比較危險，因為ETS只要求考生寫300字，這個動作會使得和二，三段的關聯性降低，產生digression，很容易被扣分，除非是考GRE，不然托福寫作還是盡量保持整個篇章是可以被封裝起來，不會發散的結構會比較理想

With the fast and easy food preparation, women who needs to prepare food can take a rest, men who wants to enjoy cooking can learn and practice cullinary skills easily.(第一段的兩個理由再寫一次)
Thus, I believe that the improvement brings people a better life, finally ameliorating their living standards. (立場重述)

第二段：

The fact that lots of career women show their expertise in modern society is obvious.(主題句就是第一段段尾所陳述的個人理由再加以改寫，並且保持句子簡潔，主題句要短，才能有張力，並且讓人一目瞭然)
In the past, Taiwanese married women were expected to be housewives managing their family and preparing meals. (再來就是先講概念了，先講過去的傳統思維，而這裡題目的change幫了個大忙，可以用前後對比去把概念帶過，然後下句再講change之後的社會是如何運轉的，所以往下看，如果change沒出現庵還是會這樣前後對比，省得再想更深入的內容)
Yet, improved food preparation reduces their family burdens and obligations, making them have extra time to focus on personal business and experince the joy of life.(Yet出現就表示庵要改變語氣了，前後相反，有了方便的準備技術→就有時間了→做想做的事，概念就像剝洋蔥，如果你願意一層一層一層的剝開我的心，然後分數就高了，不是啦~~-大概剝個三層就夠你寫了第二段超過100字絕對沒問題，概念就是人類的既定思維，然後有人會去做合乎思維的事情，這個就是概念的衍伸(further, additional, moreover.....)，如果違反常理表示轉折(but, however.....)，所以在主要段落中先講概念在講舉例的由來就是這樣，那麼接下來我就會開始舉例了~~)
Unlike my grandma who has to spend hours in kitchen for daily meals made by unprepared row materials, my mom make frozen salmon, dried spaghetti, and fresh vegetables become delicacies, using pressure cooker and ovens to increase cooking efficiency. (用阿罵跟老媽作過去跟現在的對比當例子解釋，花時間在廚房→省時間出門，用原物料→冷凍食品)
Furthermore, she has more leisure time to travel and handle her business. (補充得到空閒時間的好處)
— change of woman's life.(結尾用同位語的方式，已縮小文章字數，不再開闢新的一句話作個小結論屁一下，繞回去主題句去作呼應，並把整個段落封裝起來完成一個完整的迴路，其實字數夠的話不寫也無所謂啦~~因為上一句話的尾巴部分剛好帶入老媽可以遊山玩水跟顧生意，這樣也剛好有回到主題句的內容跟其對應)

第三段：

Modern food preparation makes men learn to cook easily. (主題句點出理由二)
In the past, forced by the traditional culture, men were expected to work outside to earn money, further causing them to know nothing about cooking. (概念說明第一句：老掉牙的把戲在玩一次，用change去大作文章，過去丈夫→傳統壓迫→賺錢→不會作菜，概念就是講一些抽象的東西，看不到摸不到，是用無形的東西去構成句子，這裡除了men以外，因為他是主詞所以一定要存在，其他像是傳統阿，賺錢啊，煮飯阿，這類概括性的字眼都很虛假都很攏統，例如說：周杰倫這是一個名字，就像是概念一樣，是某個人事務的代號，然後通常會去期待說，周杰倫是誰啊~~，那接下來的下一個句子就會說明他是歌手，他會彈鋼琴，他會作詞作曲，他會拍電影，好的這裡都是抽象概念，表述這個人會什麼，他的情況如何，所以最容易判斷他是否為概念就看句子裡頭是否形容詞很多，形容詞又是狀語，狀態的描述)
Nowadays, men lacking culinery skills can handle a kitchen like a chef becuase of the improvement. (用時間轉折，現在不會煮飯的人都可以進廚房了，用意是把概念的第二句話作個ending，告訴考官我接下來要舉例了)
Opening refrigerators, picking up some kind of prepared ingredients, following the directions on food's packages, and heating up ready-to-cook meals-- all are the easy things for normal people. (舉例第一句：具體的動作就出來了，開冰箱、挑食材、看說明書、加熱，這裡用並列的方式將例子展現出來，對應了概念第二句的improvement)
─all are the easy things for my dad to stick to these strategies without difficulties in order to prepare food. (舉例後半部：用同位語，然後男主角老爹出來對應概念句。這個部分就會具體出來去呼應主題句的內容主旨，再把上面提到的周杰倫當例子再繼續延伸：他唱歌青花瓷紅到美國，鋼琴聲有如落雨聲，電影有『不能說的秘密』，這種五官能夠強烈感應的就是具體舉例了，有動作，有物品可以觸碰，有感官，有地名，有聲音)
Thus, such easy food preparation as standard operating procedure speeds up and simplifies cooking ways, increasing the will of men tending to walk into the kitchen, and decreasing the hardship for cooking. (下個單段小結並結束這一回合，用SOP去和food preparation相呼應，再來就是男人增加進廚房意願對應回到主題句的內容去，完成一個loop，if end)

文法分析：

第一段：

Food, the most fundamental need, supports human live. (逗點和逗點中間, (which is省略) the most fundamental need, 用埋在句型作food同位語)
In early ages, people had to be hunters and peasants to fulfill their hunger, but with the development of technology, people have created highly efficient food preparation. ( highly efficient food preparation→adv+adj+n 的結構，論文寫作常用，最佳範本就是維基百科拉~~常常出現這類結構，adv目的是用來表示程度的，adj修飾形容詞大家都知道)
This improvement brings positive effects and breaks up the traditional living mode in Taiwan, making women have time to work outside and men have simple ways to know cooking inside their house.(, making women have time to work outside and men have simple ... 還原：, which makes ...... 關係代名詞非限定用法，當形容詞修飾『逗點』前面整句話)

第四段：

Thus, I believe that the improvement brings people a better life, finally ameliorating their living standards.
第一： I believe that the improvement brings people a better life，that 後面是名詞子句，就是有完整的S+Vi，或是 S+Vt+O結構，翻譯會翻成that="就是...的這件事"，所以這裡的翻譯變成：我相信，就是食物準備工作的改善帶來了人類更好得生活的這件事，這個結構和where 所形成的副詞子句得一樣的完整子句，但是單獨which, who出現的句子結構絕對是破碎的會缺S或是缺O，這個叫形容詞子句修飾前方的名詞，翻譯的話會說成which不完整子句+"的"+前方名詞，例如說：I believe the improvement that(=which) brings people a better life, 雖然語意相同但是犯意會變成：我相信帶來人類更好生活的這個改善，作用是跟名詞子句不一樣。
第二：a better life, finally ameliorating their living standards.還原：a better life, which ameliorates their living standards關係代名詞非限定用法，當形容詞修飾『逗點』前面整句話

第二段：

The fact that lots of career women show their expertise in modern society is obvious.(這裡用了名詞子句that lots of career women show their expertise in modern society 作補充，通常名詞子句前方的名詞一個內容物封裝起來，簡單來說fact就是封裝品， lots of women.....的名詞子句就是指令，那面that就是介面了翻譯成"就是.....的這件事"，所以整個主題句翻譯會是：這個事實就是很多的職業婦女在社會上嶄露頭角的這件事是顯而易見的)
In the past, Taiwanese married women were expected to be housewives managing their family and preparing meals. (還原：....housewives who managed their family and preparing meals關係代名詞限定用法，當形容詞修飾前面housewives)
Yet, improvement food preparation reduces their family burdens and obligations, making them have extra time to focus on personal business and experince the joy of life.(還原：..., which makes them have extra time to focus on personal business....關係代名詞非限定用法，當形容詞修飾『逗點』前面整句話。第一個字Yet有玄機，他和however是不一樣的，雖然語意相同但是用法不同，YET是本身句子和上面一句作對比，然而however是本身句子和其以下的句子，去和上面以及上面整個部分做對比，也就是說however是楚河漢界，however之前一個陣營不管句子數量，however之後也是一個陣營也不管句子數量，然後兩陣營仇視對比，那麼Yet作用範圍僅限於yet出現的相鄰兩句子起對比作用而已，所以我這裡的Yet, improvement food preparation reduces....只和上一句：In the past, Taiwanese married women....作對比)
Unlike my grandma who has to spend hours in kitchen for daily meals made by unprepared row materials, my mom make frozen salmon, dried spaghetti, and fresh vegetables become delicacies, using pressure cooker and ovens to increase cooking efficiency. (第一：unlike+N1~~, N2+V~~~這裡使用前後對比，N1和N2的名詞詞類是要相同，這樣才構成修辭上正確運用，這裡很常不小心有錯誤對比情況出現譬如說：Unlike spending hours in kitchen, my mom..........，很明顯N1講的是一個動作，N2講的是一個人，所以就產生了 faulty comparison錯誤對比，兩者比較對象屬性不同，來個錯誤舉例：「不像昨天的天氣，老媽煮飯很好吃」，照理說應該是：「不像昨天的天氣，今天的天氣很好」，這樣就看得出來unlike使用錯誤會多麼的無理頭了。第二：.....become delicacies, using pressure cooker and ovens to increase cooking efficiency. 還原則是：.....become delicacies, and mymom uses pressure cooker and ovens to increase cooking efficiency.是個並列結構省略的結果形成分詞構句，『逗點』前後兩主詞都是my mom 所以省略一個然後應為主詞省略所以連接詞跟著省略，但是uses是動詞，會和『逗點』前面的動詞 makes形成兩個動詞在同個句子中，插播所謂一個完整句的定義：句子和句子中間打『逗點』不能視為兩個個別獨立的完整句子，而是視為兩個相關的子句，只有尾巴打『句點』才是一個句子的結尾。所以uses 和 makes 兩個動詞被放入一個句子當中了，如果不變形，或『逗點』前後沒有連接詞出現，會變成RUN-ON sentence，因此uses→using 形成分詞構句)

第三段：

In the past, forced by the traditional culture, men were expected to work outside to earn money, further causing them to know nothing about cooking. (整句的還原會是：In the past, men were forced by the traditional culture, and men were expected to work outside to earn money, which further caused them to know nothing about cooking. 第一：前半部還原之後一定要加連接詞and，將『逗點』前後兩個小子句作連接才不會產生RUN-ON sentence。第二：, which further caused ...... 關係代名詞非限定用法，當形容詞修飾『逗點』前面整句話)
Nowadays, men lacking culinery skills can handle a kitchen like a chef becuase of the improvement. (這裡men who lacked culinery skills→men lacking culinery skills 把WHO省略並把動詞lacked變成分詞，關係代名詞限定用法，當形容詞修飾前面名詞men)
Opening refrigerators, picking up some kind of prepared ingredients, following the directions on food's packages, and heating up ready-to-cook meals-- all are the easy things for my dad to stick to these strategies without difficulties in order to prepare food. (我只是把四個例子用分詞形式當主詞，後面再用ALL把前面四個舉例封裝成一個集合)
Thus, such easy food preparation as standard operating procedure speeds up and simplifies cooking ways, increasing the will of men tending to walk into the kitchem for cooking, and decreasing the hardship of cooking. (, increasing..... and decreasing.....關係代名詞非限定用法，當形容詞修飾『逗點』前面整句話，方法跟之前相同不多贅述)