TOEFL【Independent Writing】-Not everything that is learned is contained in books @ 熱血背包客莊ㄟ

題目來源：考古題獨立寫作

It has been said, " Not everything that is learned is contained in books. " Compare and contrast knowledge gained from experience with knowledge gained from books. In your opinion, which sourcce is more important? Why?

※如有興趣參考我的寫作戰略歡迎點擊：

TOEFL【Independent Writing】搞定托福獨立寫作的戰略分析

接下來就是實際操作一遍：

My grandma is illiterate, but still shows grand wisdom by her experience, proving that knowledge from experiences is more important. Knowledge from books is too abstract to apply. This knowledge will be buried in our deepest mind, gradually forgotten. Different from that, knowledge gained from experiences can be clearly seared in our memory. Such authentic experiences kept in our mind will develop into personally unique knowledge, hardly replaced. Also, experiences can be written into books as knowledge collections.

Knowledge we experience is unique. Using our experiences to apply in our life, we will find the best and efficient way to deal with problems, a process to make the knowledge work in practice. These pragmatic knowledge are different, only suitable for certain people. While doing car maintenance, mechanics can find complicated problems in seconds by abnormal sound or strange oil color. All surgeons perform delicate operations by their feeling of using scalpels. Michael Phelps, holding all-time records of Olympic gold medals, learned swimming skills by his training experience. None of the knowledge can be recurred from books, but all by the inexpressibly experiential accumulation.

Experience are sources of books. Authors represent their experience by books, a platform of what the authors want to express as knowledge to spread from generation to generation. They experience something special, stimulating them to come up with theories to explain some phenomena, innovations, and inspiration. Sir Isaac Newton watched the apple falling from the tree, allowing him to formula "the law of universal gravitation". Albert Einstein worked in Swiss Patent Office to exam electrical-mechanical problems, allowing him to publish "the theory of relativity". Marie Curie find Radium, inspiring her to work on "Radioactivity". All of them make epoch-making theories to subvert established ideals in physics and chemistry.

With the help of knowledge from experience, we can be experts of some specific field. These professional experiences can be recorded into books as human property to hand the knowledge down to offspring. Because experiences are not only the sources of knowledge but of books, I value knowledge from experiences.

Word：341

結構分析：我來把文章微分

這題的想法是看到知識從 books 和 experience 得到得差別還有比較(compare)，所以斷落的安排我會把比較在第一段先搞定，因為一方面可以滿足題目要求，一放面可以帶出我的立場，我支持哪一邊，所以這樣就可以把比較的部分先解決。

第一段：

My grandma is illiterate, but still shows grand wisdom by her experience, proving that knowledge from experiences is more important. (背景的交代，阿罵是文盲但很有智慧，並且直接先立場表達出來，我的立場是我覺得經驗的知識比較重要)

Knowledge from books is too abstract to apply. This knowledge will be buried in our deepest mind, gradually forgotten. Different from that, knowledge gained from experiences can be clearly seared in our memory. (把題目抄下來做改寫，並加入自己的意見，這是為了滿足題目要求比較的安排，而且這樣比較省事把題目抄一遍然後再加些自己的意見就完成了，重點在為什麼的發展，理由的發展，WHY?才是重點，不是要你從頭比較到尾，所以比較的部分趕快帶過就好，在做比較的時候要強烈的反差這樣才有一槍斃命的強烈對比立場)

Such authentic experiences kept in our mind will develop into personally unique knowledge, hardly replaced. Also, experiences can be written into books as knowledge collections.(這裡就是我的兩個理由了，1.unique. 2. sources of books，再來下面兩段就會針對這兩個理由做延伸了)

那第二段和第三段就可以完整表現為何我會選擇experience比較重要的立場，因為在主要段落也就是第二段和第三段去做比較會使得整個文章比較亂，托福是高度標準化的可是，而且官方網站也有公布考試評分標準，所以這裡不需要把自己搞得跟徐自摩一樣把文章寫得詞藻華麗，眉飛色舞，所以main body 的部分盡量井然有序，讓人好讀就好。

第二段：

Knowledge we experience is unique. (主題句，跟我的上一段結尾差不多，主要是把unique帶出，這部分要注意的就是主題句一定越短越簡單越好，簡潔有力，要變化之後得句子再慢慢變)

Using our experiences to apply in our life, we will find the best and efficient way to deal with problems, a process to make the knowledge work in practice. These pragmatic knowledge are different, only suitable for certain people. (概念的說明，日常運用→處理的有效率→便實用→但每個人都不一樣，意味著主題句的unique，概念有點像是剝洋蔥慢慢剝，不要一次挖到底這樣會跳針，跳太快很容易跳脫邏輯線，使得評分人員看不懂，任務就是要保持coherence)

While doing car maintenance, mechanics can find complicated problems in seconds by abnormal sound or strange oil color. All surgeons perform delicate operations by their feeling of using scalpels. Michael Phelps, holding all-time records of Olympic gold medals, learned swimming skills by his training experience. (例證：我舉了三個在特殊領域的例子形成三句話，黑手師傅→異常判斷，外科醫生→開刀，游泳名將→金牌，但其實字數夠的話兩個句子就夠了，我寫三個句子，PS：在舉例的時候其實可以用極端的例子，如果這裡舉教授教書靠經驗就有點模稜兩可，因為兩個元素都有，因為教授教的東西是從書本來的，然後怎麼表達出來是經驗累積，所以這類舉例很危險，兩個層面都有)

None of the knowledge can be recurred from books, but all by the inexpressibly experiential accumulation.(結論句，對於自己的舉例說明經驗重要)

第三段：

Experience are sources of books. (主題句，一樣簡單明瞭，點出書本內容是從經驗來的)

Authors represent their experience by books, a platform of what the authors want to express as knowledge to spread from generation to generation. They experience something special, stimulating them to come up with theories to explain some phenomena, innovations, and inspiration.(用兩句話講概念，書本的作者→把想表達的事情記錄成書→這些想表達的經驗知識很特別→往往都是特過一些啟發或看到的現象想出來的)

Sir Isaac Newton watched the apple falling from the tree, allowing him to formula "the law of universal gravitation". Albert Einstein worked in Swiss Patent Office to exam electrical-mechanical problems, allowing him to publish "the theory of relativity". Marie Curie find Radium, inspiring her to work on "Radioactivity". (然後我再舉三個例，牛頓跟蘋果→萬有引力定律，愛因斯坦→相對論，居禮夫人→放射線..，這裡邏輯表示為，這些科學家研究所得的經驗而製作成一本理論書籍(知識)，所以保持我的立場知識都是從經驗得來的，那像是達爾文去加拉巴哥群島→進化論也是個好例子，不過這裡有牽涉到政治因為，文章必須男女平等，所以將居禮夫人請出來，可是這裡不能舉例說JK羅琳→哈利波特，或是九把刀→那些年我們追的女孩，因為他只是小說，只算是故事並沒有說到任何知識的傳承，或是新發現，不適合當知識的例子)

All of them make epoch-making theories to subvert established ideals in physics and chemistry.(最後在結論)

第四段：結論採取的戰略就是把第一段倒著寫，然後背景句不寫。

With the help of knowledge from experience, we can be experts of some specific field. (第二段的主題句改寫，理由一)

These professional experiences can be recorded into books as human property to hand the knowledge dowm to offspring. (第三段的主題句改寫，理由二)

Because experiences are not only the sources of knowledge but of books, I value knowledge from experiences. (自己的立場再次表達一次)

文法變化：

第一段：

My grandma is illiterate, but still shows grand wisdom by her experiences, proving that knowledge from experiences is more important.
還原：My grandma is illiterate, but she(主詞相同省略) still shows grand wisdom by her experiences, which prove(關西代名詞非限定用法，翻譯成：前面的整句話證明了....) that knowledge from.....

This knowledge will be buried in our deepest mind, gradually forgotten.
還原：This knowledge will be buried in our deepest mind, and this knowledge is gradually forgotten(分詞構句的改寫主詞相同省略，動詞是BE動詞無實質意義省略，其中要注意的是很多人常常兩句話中間是逗點連結的話，常常忘了加連接詞，這樣會產生RUN-ON sentence，這個也是扣分很重的依據，逗點如果是連接兩個完整句子(S+Vi 或者 S+Vt+O)，中間一定要連接詞連接，不然就打上句點，分成兩句論述)

Different from that, knowledge gained from experiences can be clearly seared in our memory. 這裡的That=Knowledge from books 和後面Knowledge gained from experiences兩者的屬性是相同的再去做一個比較，這裡滿常出現錯誤對比，如：Different from books, knowledge gained from experiences can be clearly...其中書本和知識就構成無法對應兩個關係了，書本和和知識不能比較阿~~這樣就會產生faulty comparison，有點像是我覺錯誤對比，類似說今天的天氣比昨天的便當好，感覺類似像這樣兩者對比不相干

Such authentic experiences kept in our mind will develop into personally unique knowledge, hardly replaced.
還原：Such authentic experiences kept in our mind will develop into personally unique knowledge, and Such authentic experiences are hardly replaced. (分詞構句省略)

第二段：

Using our experiences to apply in our life, we will find the best and efficient way to deal with problems, a process to make the knowledge work in pratice. These pragmatic knowledge are different, only suitable for certain people. (概念的說明，日常運用→處理的有效率→便實用→但每個人都不一樣，意味著主題句的unique，概念有點想繞圈圈，任務就是要保持coherence)
還原： We use our experiences to apply in our life, and we will find the best and efficient way to deal with problems, which is a process to make the knowledge work in practice. (共兩的逗點分三部分，第一部分是分詞構句的改寫一位不太重要所以我把他提到前面放，第二部分是我的主要子句完整的S+V，這裡要小心當第一部分還原之後變成了一個完整子句了，所以一和二部分的中間要用and連接。再來第三部分用關西代名詞非限定用法用略which is 變成同位語，翻譯成前面的這句話就是一個去讓知識實踐的過程)

These pragmatic knowledge are different, only suitable for certain people.
還原：These pragmatic knowledge are different, which is only suitable for certain people. 關西代名詞非限定用法用略which is

While doing car maintenance, mechanics can find complicated problems in seconds by abnormal sound or strange oil color.
還原：While mechanics do car maintenance, mechanics can find complicated problems in seconds by abnormal sound or strange oil color. 這句的While其實在分詞構句的概念中是可以刪除的，但是我想強調當下的時間的，所以刻意保留。再來Whlie 是連接詞所以兩句中間沒必要再加連接詞了

Michael Phelps, holding all-time records of Olympic gold medals, learned swimming skills by his training experience.
還原：Michceal phelps who hold all-time records of Olympic gold medals learned swimming.....這裡是關代的限定用法，其中原句我是變形之後再加上逗點隔開只是因為它是不重要但必要出現的句子所以把它擺中間埋葬掉，因為只是要說明飛魚拿了很多的獎牌不是因為讀書而來是因為大量練習，所以重點應該是大量練習得當的經驗，不是拿獎牌。

inexpressibly experiential accumulation為 adv+adj+n 的結構論文寫作方式常常出現

第三段：

Authors represent their experience by books, a platform of what the authors want to express as knowledge to spread from generation to generation.
還原：Authors represent their experience by books which is a platform of what the authors want to express as knowledge to spread from generation to generation. (books 同位語的修飾詞，但是因為把which is省略了，所以要打上"逗點"去區隔兩個名詞，已表示兩者是修飾關係不是並列對等關係)

They experience something special, stimulating them to come up with theories to explain some phenomena, innovations, and inspiration.
Sir Isaac Newton watched the apple falling from the tree, allowing him to formula "the law of universal gravitation".
Albert Einstein worked in Swiss Patent Office to exam electrical-mechanical problems, allowing him to publish "the theory of relativity".
Marie Curie find Radium, inspiring her to work on "Radioactivity".
這裡還原都是, which stimulate ，allow ， (inspire) 翻譯成：前面的這個發展使得....(啟發).....其實後面三個舉例我是想試圖營造出文法，內容，和詞性上的完全並列。
這三個舉例其實也可以在句型上做些變化，例如使用假設法，或是假設法的倒裝，或時間性質的副詞連接詞(When, After, Before)表示條件，也都可以使句型更有變化，不過感覺會過於花俏
EX: If the apple that Newton saw didn't fell, he would not pulish "the law of universal gravitation" (與現在事實相反用動詞過去式)
或是省略IF 的倒裝，Not did the apple that Newton saw fall, he would not publish "the law of unversal gravitation"