TOEFL【Independent Writing】-Never, never give up @ 熱血背包客莊ㄟ

Sun Moon Lake, Nantou,TAIWAN

題目來源：考古題獨立寫作#40

The expression " Never, never give up" means to keep trying and never stop working for your gaols. Do you agree or disagree with this statement? Use specific reasons and examples to supprot your answer.

我會用由普世現象轉入個人意見當作切入點的方式打槍題目的陳述，著墨於mean這個動詞

※如有興趣參考我的寫作戰略歡迎點擊：

TOEFL【Independent Writing】搞定托福獨立寫作的戰略分析

接下來就是實際操作一遍：

Generally, the definition of "Never, never give up" is perseverance, attitude to keep trying and never stop working for goals. A lot of materials from books, movies, and speeches inspire people to seek their targets without giving up. However, I cast doubt on the topic, because "Never give up" is necessary for keeping trying and working, but keeping trying and working are not sufficient for "Never give up". Some persist in trying or working, meaning that giving up obsolete solutions to try new methods or setting aside enjoyments to concentrate on tasks are needed.

To make "keep trying" sound reasonable, we must get rid of some established theories. We should not try the same things again and again if the outcomes are wrong. By evaluation and analysis, we can find more theoretically suitable ways to solve the problems in reality, evolution from previously established faults to possibly successful methods. Few decades ago, Apple was the company only manufacturing personal computers, suffering from low profits and unstable sales─ external factors to destroy the company vulnerable to financial crisis. Then, to improve their business model, Apple extended portable device departments, introducing an avant-grade product, "i Phone", and further dominating the modern smartphone markets.

For goals, people keeping working must give up some fun. One only has 24 hours a day, unchangeable for everyone. Enjoying a good journey, hanging out with friends, or eating dinners with family ─these make the people distracted, evaporating their attention like cold water on hot desert. To extract extra time, thus, they must give up these entertainments. I have a dream of studying abroad. So, rejecting all outside enticements mentioned above, arranging studying schedule, deleting my Facebook, reducing sleeping hours, spending a lot of time in libraries, burying myself in the books, I practice English all day long. Consequently my efforts pay off.

Before reaching goals, people face many difficulties like WRC or 24 Hours of Le Mans competitions, events driven on rugged lands or testing endurance. Racing drivers change gears to climb hills and to cross streams, focusing on the games anytime. I see no reasons to justify the topic, because we must sacrifice leisure time and discard inappropriate ways─eclectic measures to come closer to goals.

Word：369

文章想法：

看到題目之後的反應，我就是直接把主題變成數學式子" Never give up" = keeping trying and working，然後這題就突然想到高中的邏輯運算題目，IF and only IF 的單元，所以我便把題目做分析，Never give up 是一個概念(因為他沒講放棄什麼，所以當作一個普世認同的觀點)：永不放棄，keeping...是個動作(實踐)：一直做下去，所以我就理解成這個永不放棄的一個概念就是，不論如何一直工作下去的動作。好了那這樣感覺說得過去，" Never give up"→ keeping trying and working 這個是可以的，然後反過來呢? 我就『感覺怪怪的』了 keeping trying and working→" Never give up" 這個邏輯線過不去阿~~不停地工作，你總是要放棄打電動吧，總是要換點別的方法去做事情吧，不然一個方法一直做下去，不嘗試其他方式，改個方向，怎麼可能會達到目標呢!! 追逐人生的目標又不是0-400加速賽，他是個利曼耐久賽，又像是越野拉力賽，時間久，路程崎嶇，所以結論就是：此題是充分非必要條件，好然後就開始下筆了。

PS：

這篇文章在網路上常常有人會想成我贊成NEVER GIVE UP 因為面對困難就是要去克服，還舉個科學家的例子阿，一直致力研究阿，失敗了再繼續。他的原文是： I think this is the most important thing that can help us to achieve our goals. I believe that everybody meets many obstacles in their lives before achieving their goals
可是我覺得這樣的邏輯現有點離題的感覺，個人覺得拉沒有批評的意思，因為我總覺得題目問的是 " Never give up" = keeping trying and working，他就像是個數學證明題，等號兩邊數值一樣就是贊成立場，等號兩邊數值不同就是反對立場，可是回到我之前網路上看到的文章來說，他說他同意" Never give up" 因為很重要???，為何要出現很重要，題目又沒有說 " Never give up" >> keeping trying and working，每個人都會碰到困難(題目也沒提到阿)，要堅持下去，然接下來就講一些人物的奮鬥史，最後下個結論說他成功了，這樣的文章就『感覺怪怪的』，大家好~我是柯文哲 ONE CITY，ONE FAMILY。

然後我也看到另一種申論說 " Never give up" = keeping trying and working 但是不論有沒有完成目標或成功，原文是： it doesn't even mean that you must achieve your goal, but it's very important to keep it in your mind.
這樣也『感覺怪怪的』，文法上這個for goals 應該是跟著 keeping trying and working 這兩個分詞動作的補充而已啊，他不是整個句子的邏輯線吧，幹嗎要大作文章??

結構分析：我來把文章微分

第一段：

Generally, the definition of "Never, never give up" is perseverance, attitude to keep trying and never stop working for goals. (我的背景句，廣泛的認知：堅持就是永不放棄，去表達題目的概念)
A lot of material from books, movies, and speech inspire people to seek their targets without giving up. (那再來就是怎麼會有這個現象的具體證據，那就是書籍等資料)
However, I cast doubt on the topic, because "Never give up" is necessary for keeping trying and working, but keeping trying and working are not sufficient for "Never give up". (下個轉折準備打槍題目持反對的立場，並在後面補充，打槍他的概念來自於充分非必要條件 )
Some persist in trying or working, meaning that giving up obsolete solutions to try new methods or setting aside enjoyments to concentrate on tasks are needed. (再來就是掰個兩個理由，去展現放棄根支持的張力好讓文章繼續延伸下去，理由一：方法要知變通阿~~不能一成不變所以要放棄舊思維。理由二：專心的同時並定伴隨著放棄玩樂)

第四段：

老樣子第四段就是把第一段到著寫就好了，當作閱讀測驗的句子改寫
Before reaching goals, people face many difficulties like WRC or 24 Hours of Le Mans competitions, events driven on rugged lands or testing endurance. Racing drivers change gears to climb hills and to cross streams, focusing on the games anytime. (只是覺得第四段感覺不夠多，所以再補上一個故事去支持我的理由一和理由二，追求目標的過程中是要一直換方法的而且要專注)
I see no reasons to justify the topic, because we must sacrifice leisure time and discard inappropriate ways─eclectic measures to come closer to goals.(理由一，理由二再現，然後立場重申)

第二段：

下完主題句之後就當作閱讀測驗的修辭目的題的模式下筆
To make "keep trying" sound reasonable, we must get rid of some established theories. (主題句保持簡短，並把理由一再現一次加以改寫)
We should not try the same things again and again if the outcomes are wrong. By evaluation and analysis, we can find more theoretically suitable ways to solve the problems in reality, evolution from previously established faults to possibly successful methods. (抽象概念的分析，開始剝洋蔥囉~~我願意為你一層一層一層的剝開我的心~~，錯的事情→不能一直做→要檢視分析→找到答案)
Few decades ago, Apple was the company only manufacturing personal computers, suffering from low profits and unstable sales─ external factors to destroy the company vulnerable to financial crisis. Then, to improve their business model, Apple extended portable devices departments, introducing an avant-grade product, "i Phone", and further dominating the modern smartphone markets.(具體舉例，Apple→賣電腦→換經營模式賣手機→成功了)

第三段：

For goals, people keeping working must give up some fun. (一樣主題句保持簡短，並把理由二再現一次加以改寫)
One only has 24 hours a day, unchangeable for everyone. Enjoying a good journey, hanging out with friends, or eating dinners with family ─these make the people distracted, evaporating their attention like cold water on hot desert. To extract extra time, thus, they must give up these entertainments. (抽象概念的分析，一天時間有限→遊玩，找朋友，吃飯→消耗時間→要放棄掉)
I have a dream of studying abroad. So, rejecting all outside enticements mentioned above, arranging studying schedule, deleting my Facebook, reducing sleeping hours, spending a lot of time in libraries, burying myself in the books, I practice English all day long. Consequently my efforts pay off. (具體個人的例子，完成夢想(目標)→做了一些事情為了讀書→成功)

文法變化：

第一段：

Generally, the definition of "Never, never give up" is perseverance, attitude to keep trying and never stop working for goals. →同位語去修飾前面的 perseverance (他是一個Keep trying 的態度)
Some persist in trying or working, meaning that giving up obsolete solutions to try new methods or setting aside enjoyments to concentrate on tasks are needed. (關係代名詞非限定用法, meaning that giving up....→which means..... 當形容詞修飾『逗點』前面整句話 )

第四段：

Before reaching goals, people face many difficulties like WRC or 24 Hours of Le Mans competitions, events driven on rugged lands or testing endurance.(省掉Which is →being Be動詞無實質意義再刪變成同位語修飾前方WRC 和利曼賽，然後整個同位語, events driven on rugged lands or testing endurance.咖啡色的又是關系代名詞的限定用法省略去修飾前方的events，被迫在泥地的賽事，和測試耐久度的賽事)
Racing drivers change gears to climb hills and to cross streams, focusing on the games anytime. (分詞構句，還原：Racing drivers focus on the games anytime. 補充一下：還原的整句話是Racing drivers change gears to climb hills and to cross streams, "and" Racing drivers focus on the games anytime. and 連接詞一定要加上去，因為前方是打『逗點』，用逗點隔開並不能表示兩個句子，會視為一個長句子的兩個子句，如果不加and會變成整句話有兩個動詞change 和 focus 一個句子只能有一個動詞，你如果要硬塞只能有兩種選擇，一個是其中一個動詞變形改Ving/ to V / Ved 然後連接詞才能省，第二選擇是兩個動詞間加上連接詞，之前幾篇有介紹過這類錯誤就是 RUN-ON sentence)
I see no reasons to justify the topic, because we must sacrifice leisure time and discard inappropriate ways─eclectic measures to come closer to goals.(省掉Which is →being Be動詞無實質意義再刪變成同位語修飾前方整句話：we must sacrifice leisure time and discard inappropriate ways)

第二段：

To make "keep trying" sound reasonable, we must get rid of some established theories. (To make "keep trying" sound reasonable還原：we are to make "keep trying" sound reasonable，中間的be to V 有三類表示：理所當然，命中注定，預定計畫，所以兩主詞相同省略BE動詞沒意義"掰掰"，這裡稍微注意一點不同主詞是不能省略的，不然就會產生dangling modifier脫鉤修飾，有點像是我喜歡吃麥當勞，他喜歡賽車，那這兩個人喜歡的東西是不樣的不能合在一起 )
By evaluation and analysis, we can find more theoretically suitable ways to solve the problems in reality, evolution from previously established faultsto possibly successful methods. (這裡用了兩種論文上常見的文法1. evolution同位語就不多贅述了，2.definitely established failurec和possibly successful methods 都是 adv+adj+N的結構 )
Few decades ago, Apple was the company only manufacturing personal computers, suffering from low profits and unstable sales─ external factors to destroy the company vulnerable to financial crisis. (這裡有三個變化, suffering (and Apple的分詞構句變形)from low profits and unstable sales─ external factors(同位語修飾前方low profits and unstable sales) to destroy the company vulnerable to financial crisis. (關係代名詞限定用法修飾company))
Then, to improve their business model, Apple extended portable devices departments, introducing an avant-grade product, "i Phone", and further dominating the modern smartphone markets.(兩個小分詞構句我就偷懶不講了，"i Phone", 同位語埋葬其中)

第三段：

For goals, people keeping working must give up some fun. (關係代名詞限定用法：people who keep working翻譯為一直工作"的"人 )
One only has 24 hours a day, unchangeable for everyone.(關係代名詞非限定用法的省略翻譯作：每個人只有一天24小事『的這件事』是對人和來說是不可改變的)
Enjoying a good journey, hanging out with friends, or eating dinners with family ─these make the people distracted, evaporating their attention like cold water on hot desert. (1. these當封裝，把前面的分詞打包成一帶，後方, evaporating 分詞構句省略these。2. the people很重要，前面多個The是專指主題句所說的那群人people keeping working)
To extract extra time, thus, they must give up these entertainments.(跟剛剛的第二段有一曲同工之處)
rejecting all outside enticements mentioned above, arranging studying schedule, deleting my Facebook, reducing sleeping hours, spending a lot of time in libraries, burying myself in the books, I practice English all day long. (都是分詞構句省略，那我就不好意思偷懶囉)